just when i thought

1. just when i thought lilly was about to start sleeping through the night....she didn't. well, really none of us did. i was up too many times to count. abby was hard to get to bed, couldn't go to sleep, and then fell out of her bed at 5 am. boy, it was one of those nights that i should have pretended it was still daytime and just gone about business as usual. then i wouldn't have had so many unmet expectations. another time several months ago she fell out of the bed and her lip burst open. she couldn't stand to hold ice on there so we let her eat a popsicle at some ridiculous time of the morning to help the swelling and make everyone feel better. so, you guessed, although she managed to take her pillow with her to the ground level of her room last night and come through the incident unscathed, she still asked for a popsicle. she says, "that'll make me happy!"

2. just when i thought our budget might actually work...it doesn't. i failed miserably this weekend at sticking to our cash system. we put money in designated envelopes every friday that is supposed to be it til' the next friday. it was gone (from EVERY envelope) by 8 pm yesterday thanks to yours truly. how i did it i don't know, well, sort of. groceries, pink sandals, eating out 3 times and nursing my sorrows by shopping. we'll see how the rest of the week goes.

3.just when i thought i'd grown out of badgering myself... i haven't. i'm in a slump of hating everything i do, every personality quirk i want to change, every insane thought i have. and the scary thing, i know better but i do it anyway. i'm an accepted, redeemed child of God, why do i do this? i've got to get out of the slimy pit and start living the life of victory i've been handed. i mean, does it really matter that i'm imperfect? no, i have a perfect God.

4. just when i thought abby was out of her disobedient stage for a moment.... she's not. she spent the whole day with M yesterday (Mike's mom). i am forever indebted to this woman. she works nonstop managing a store 7 days a week and she bore my wonderful hubby. then on her one day off in forever she called to see if abby could spend the ENTIRE day with her. exhausting. i loved the break, the silence around here was nice, lilly got a day of undivided attention. but, all you parents know the phenomenon of "time spent with grandparents equals craziness for momma later". i'm sure i had the same problem as a child. they come home totally warped and totally testing everything they know. what is that about? add that to #1 up there on the list and it's a disaster. really, i am grateful, M, and it was worth it! give her a couple of days and the phenomenon will wear off as usual.

5. just when i thought this was a really stinky post and i have nothing good to say.... i do. God has blessed our family so much. a good marriage. two beautiful, sweet, funny girls. the most GORGEOUS day i've seen in a while. friends who love us in spite of our weirdness and budget and "been to grandma's kid". grandmas to spoil us. greatgrandparents that adore our kids. a swing for our baby who wouldn't sleep from 2 am til' 6 am. a blog for a postpartum mom so she can produce thoughts and sort of journal. mostly the love of Christ to save us and help keep things in perspective when we can't by ourselves.